Anyone who's been around these parts for a while won't be too surprised to read that I find myself once again in a work funk. To be honest, it's probably more regular than it should be and I'm still trying to figure out why this is.
It's not you...
It's me...
I'm just not ready to commit...
Sound familiar? I honestly think these days that work funks are a thing for everyone. Working life in the 21st Century is tough. Your employers want everything from you and for very little in return. Right now I'm battling with several challenges at once but if I had to pick three they would be:
1) the job I was originally hired to do is no longer my job. I've been restructured. And in this restructure I was essentially pacified and patted on the back and told exactly what I needed to hear to be willing to go along for the ride. Turns out that gut instinct I had about it all going pete tong was definitely the right call.
2) they keep using the word "resource" to refer to people. This boils my blood and makes me want to rage. I'm not a flipping resource! I'm a person! With feelings. And right now, calling me a resource makes it feel like you no longer think of me as an actual human being. I'm a number. And that pretty much sucks.
3) I spend a lot of time sending emails asking how much it costs to print things. I'm pretty sure that in that whole restructure conversation (refer to number 1) I was told that to remain "creative" I would need to go down this route with you. And now I'm basically a glorified admin assistant. Which would be all fine if that's what I'd originally applied for. But it wasn't. And so here we are. Oh and yep, in case you were confused, printing costs does not equal creative. Nope, no, not at all.
If you sense anger from me you'd be pitching it about right. I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm tired and most of all I feel so let down. I genuinely LOVED that job when I first started. I was working in a great team, the job I was doing was exactly what I had always wanted to do, I was passionate, totally engaged and the number one ambassador.
Now I mainly want to move on. But I'm worried that if I move on I'll find myself in yet another honeymoon period that will end another two years down the line.
So my question has to be: is it bad to move on so frequently? Does two years even count as frequent? Back in ye golden olden days people stayed in jobs their whole lives. I honestly don't think that's a thing now, and the voice inside my head tells me that a two year stint is a good solid innings. What say you? Genuinely I would love to know.
Should I stay or should I go?
Should I wait it out and see if the work funk turns around on its head?
I'm a firm believer in following my gut instincts (they're pretty finely tuned after this many years and I have to say are rarely wrong) but this time I'm floundering around a bit. Mainly because I want to believe it will all be okay.
But I'm not sure it will be. Because it's not me this time. And that's where it gets very, very tricky.
Do you think it's time to make the break? Answers on a postcard...
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Tuesday, 31 July 2018
Monday, 13 June 2016
Endings
Endings are haaaaaaard. Way back in March my temporary project contract that I was working on came to an end, and I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I have never been so sad about anything work related coming to an end. Man I LOVED that project - it might have been small in length but it was big on inspiration.
I was hired for a research and consultation exercise, and the research side of it was the usual kind of stuff: lots of internet searching, lots of putting reports together, lots of facts and figures and statistics. But the consulting was what really made it for me. I got to go to all these amazing groups and meet people with differing levels of visual impairment, some members were totally blind and had been since birth, and talk to them about art and their perceptions of art and how they felt about visiting galleries and museums. More often than not the talk would turn to other topics and general chit-chat and each and every time I came out of those consultation meetings feeling both humbled and inspired by the amazing people, still working hard to tackle everyday life despite the massive obstacle of zero/failing sight facing them.
I even helped to run an art workshop, where working with these same people, we all worked together to create some fabulous artwork using all sorts of different materials. In that session, I blindfolded myself and painted a tree using string and blu-tack and touch to feel the outline and splodge the paint - trust me when I say that was a pretty amazing experience!
So why am I just talking about this now? Well, recently, I met my boss to return the equipment and say goodbye I guess, even though I know we will keep in touch. The project is absolutely over and therefore our working relationship is too. As with the project ending, I felt the same way about this boss too. In all my working life I've never worked for anyone that I truly respected, admired, and felt inspired by, until this project. It's tough to not get too soppy about it all, but I'll tell you a little secret: we did that already! I miss working with her very much, and our weekly meetings where we talked about all kinds of everything. It's all kinds of awesome to work for someone who you feel is that kind of awesome. It's like, ohhhh, so that's what that feels like!
We had a lovely coffee and catch up, we visited an art gallery which was just like being back at work again cos we did lots of that when I worked on the project, and we said our goodbyes. Waaaaahhh, endings suck! There's no point wishing for things that didn't happen, we didn't get the funding, the end. I'm keeping the faith though, you never know what's round the corner and maybe we'll get to work together again. Until then we have coffee and catch ups and very, very fond memories. A fitting ending to an end I think.
I was hired for a research and consultation exercise, and the research side of it was the usual kind of stuff: lots of internet searching, lots of putting reports together, lots of facts and figures and statistics. But the consulting was what really made it for me. I got to go to all these amazing groups and meet people with differing levels of visual impairment, some members were totally blind and had been since birth, and talk to them about art and their perceptions of art and how they felt about visiting galleries and museums. More often than not the talk would turn to other topics and general chit-chat and each and every time I came out of those consultation meetings feeling both humbled and inspired by the amazing people, still working hard to tackle everyday life despite the massive obstacle of zero/failing sight facing them.
I even helped to run an art workshop, where working with these same people, we all worked together to create some fabulous artwork using all sorts of different materials. In that session, I blindfolded myself and painted a tree using string and blu-tack and touch to feel the outline and splodge the paint - trust me when I say that was a pretty amazing experience!
So why am I just talking about this now? Well, recently, I met my boss to return the equipment and say goodbye I guess, even though I know we will keep in touch. The project is absolutely over and therefore our working relationship is too. As with the project ending, I felt the same way about this boss too. In all my working life I've never worked for anyone that I truly respected, admired, and felt inspired by, until this project. It's tough to not get too soppy about it all, but I'll tell you a little secret: we did that already! I miss working with her very much, and our weekly meetings where we talked about all kinds of everything. It's all kinds of awesome to work for someone who you feel is that kind of awesome. It's like, ohhhh, so that's what that feels like!
We had a lovely coffee and catch up, we visited an art gallery which was just like being back at work again cos we did lots of that when I worked on the project, and we said our goodbyes. Waaaaahhh, endings suck! There's no point wishing for things that didn't happen, we didn't get the funding, the end. I'm keeping the faith though, you never know what's round the corner and maybe we'll get to work together again. Until then we have coffee and catch ups and very, very fond memories. A fitting ending to an end I think.
Monday, 14 December 2015
Working Girl
Tomorrow is the big day - I'm going back to work! Not that I haven't been working for the past few months, but this going to work actually involves putting my face on, attempting to tame the rats nest hair, planning some decent clothes, a car journey, and an actual place of work. Wow! Do you think I'll remember what to do?
It's amazing how quickly your norm becomes your, erm, norm. When I first started working from home I was all weirded out about it, and now I feel the same about going back out to work. What will Bob get up to when I'm out? (don't even answer that question/HIDE EVERYTHING!) Who will our lovely postman wave to when he rocks up to our door with all the post? Will the neighbours even notice I've gone as they pop out for their daily newspaper? All the daily comings and goings that I'm so accustomed to seeing won't be there anymore. I'll miss them...but I'm also looking forward to being back in the world of work. People! Real people, who talk back to you! I hope they're nice!
Wish me luck...
It's amazing how quickly your norm becomes your, erm, norm. When I first started working from home I was all weirded out about it, and now I feel the same about going back out to work. What will Bob get up to when I'm out? (don't even answer that question/HIDE EVERYTHING!) Who will our lovely postman wave to when he rocks up to our door with all the post? Will the neighbours even notice I've gone as they pop out for their daily newspaper? All the daily comings and goings that I'm so accustomed to seeing won't be there anymore. I'll miss them...but I'm also looking forward to being back in the world of work. People! Real people, who talk back to you! I hope they're nice!
Wish me luck...
Wednesday, 29 July 2015
The new normal
I've not really talked about work that much here, but in case you're new around these parts here's a speedy, potted history of the work world of Claire. After the whole art college, university, working at any old job to stay in London, early to mid 20's thing, I returned home to Teesside where the world of libraries took over. I started what was initially a two month contract in the local university library, fast forward by twelve years (although it never did feel very fast) and I decided to quit libraryland and go back to school to learn a whole new career. That was in February 2013. 16 months later I graduated with an MSc in IT Project Management and I got my first job fresh out of university all over again. Full time, permanent work is almost impossible to come by these days and so I'm still on the hunt for the return to that kind of normal Monday to Friday, 9-5 type job. Which brings you fresh up to date and right here to this post.
The new normal. For me, my 'normal' work life is now part time. This is not by choice, trust me, I would love a full time job, but it does have its perks of which I am often grateful. The obvious downside is that part time work equals part time pay...and currently I'm working for a charity so also doesn't equal holiday or sick pay. After years of receiving all of those things it's very hard to adjust, both financially and mentally.
Financially, I am lucky to be with Dave at this point in my life. He's been hugely supportive of this big change to our lives and though the luxuries we used to enjoy with two full time wages have obviously been reduced, it's never been a problem and for that I am beyond grateful. His main concern is my happiness and being 100% behind my (often slightly barmy) life decisions.
Mentally though? Yowser. People can say all the right things but the sound of your own voice can often be a harsh one, and the worst critic at that. I'm not sure I dare admit how many times that voice has said the dreaded words 'you should have stayed in the library...' I believe in myself, I know I made the right decision, but (and there's always a but) that voice constantly wonders how long it will take me to get back on my feet, to where I was before, financially secure, and confident that my job future is no longer a risky outlook.
The world of work is so vastly different these days. People work many variations of contracts, hours, and locations. Working from home is often seen as the desirable option - I wonder how many desks and office chairs Ikea sell? They've just added two more to their sales log this weekend after I set up my own mini office. Let's just take a moment to appreciate my new chair. Oh happy buttocks (thanks Fizz!) my new chair is so incredibly comfortable and supportive and is exceptionally good for spinning slowly from side to side whilst thinking.
Getting back to my point though. I can't be the only one who finds it hard to adjust to this new normal? It's SO different from the Monday to Friday, 9-5 way that I started my work life in. There's no-one to provide structure, it's up to you what time you work and how many cups of tea you drink in a day, hell you can even work in your pyjamas if you're so inclined! It's a brave new world and you have to be mega-disciplined to make it through a day without giving in to the distractions. I wonder if it will be one of those things where I just get used to this and then I return to that other way and I'll be blogging about how much I hate the structure and the 9-5...
I would love to know if you have any similar experiences. How do you think you would cope? Send some reassurance that I'm not the only weirdo out there trying to adjust to this new normal.
The new normal. For me, my 'normal' work life is now part time. This is not by choice, trust me, I would love a full time job, but it does have its perks of which I am often grateful. The obvious downside is that part time work equals part time pay...and currently I'm working for a charity so also doesn't equal holiday or sick pay. After years of receiving all of those things it's very hard to adjust, both financially and mentally.
Financially, I am lucky to be with Dave at this point in my life. He's been hugely supportive of this big change to our lives and though the luxuries we used to enjoy with two full time wages have obviously been reduced, it's never been a problem and for that I am beyond grateful. His main concern is my happiness and being 100% behind my (often slightly barmy) life decisions.
Mentally though? Yowser. People can say all the right things but the sound of your own voice can often be a harsh one, and the worst critic at that. I'm not sure I dare admit how many times that voice has said the dreaded words 'you should have stayed in the library...' I believe in myself, I know I made the right decision, but (and there's always a but) that voice constantly wonders how long it will take me to get back on my feet, to where I was before, financially secure, and confident that my job future is no longer a risky outlook.
The world of work is so vastly different these days. People work many variations of contracts, hours, and locations. Working from home is often seen as the desirable option - I wonder how many desks and office chairs Ikea sell? They've just added two more to their sales log this weekend after I set up my own mini office. Let's just take a moment to appreciate my new chair. Oh happy buttocks (thanks Fizz!) my new chair is so incredibly comfortable and supportive and is exceptionally good for spinning slowly from side to side whilst thinking.
Getting back to my point though. I can't be the only one who finds it hard to adjust to this new normal? It's SO different from the Monday to Friday, 9-5 way that I started my work life in. There's no-one to provide structure, it's up to you what time you work and how many cups of tea you drink in a day, hell you can even work in your pyjamas if you're so inclined! It's a brave new world and you have to be mega-disciplined to make it through a day without giving in to the distractions. I wonder if it will be one of those things where I just get used to this and then I return to that other way and I'll be blogging about how much I hate the structure and the 9-5...
I would love to know if you have any similar experiences. How do you think you would cope? Send some reassurance that I'm not the only weirdo out there trying to adjust to this new normal.
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