Eff and Jeff

I'm on a bit of a book roll at the moment! After the soggy fish of J.D. Robb I decided I needed something with a bit of oomph and picked up "The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k" by Sarah Knight. This book appealed to me in so many ways. I'd first seen it via a blogger I follow and was intrigued, and also kind of amused as one of my good buddies was called this very name before she got married (she's not the actual author); but mainly I liked the attitude and the sass.

I galloped through it. It's quite a short read anyway but I think I finished it in 2 days. It was funny, definitely sassy and full of attitude, but also offered some genuine advice to people who worry too much about all kinds of things. You can think you're as cool as a cucumber but I'm sure that deep down, every one of us is a bit of a nervous nelly about some thing, usually of the social convention kind. Her advice, as the title suggests, is that you need to stop giving all the f**ks, whilst remaining polite and avoiding being an arsehole, or you'll end up with no friends. Tricky? Undoubtedly. Achievable? I think so.

Since I hit my 30s, I started not giving too much of an eff and jeff what people thought of me. I wear what I want and do what I want and don't worry much about what people might say about me behind my back - their problem, not mine. In the book, Sarah Knight (still weird), made a list of the things she doesn't give a f**k about, and I'm going to do that too.

10 things I don't give a f**k about:

1. What people think of me: I apply this to all walks of my life from work to home to anywhere else I might be. If you like me, great, if you don't like me, not bothered, your loss. I'm polite to people if I don't really like them that much but I won't accept your friend request on facebook and I won't go out of my way to be your buddy, no matter how hard you try. I will also wear what I like and do what I like, it's my business, and not for you to worry about.  

2. The age difference between me and Dave: it's 18 years in case you were wondering. It reads like a lot on paper but I know that it is simply numbers and means nothing. There's only been that one time when someone called him my dad... (we still chuckle). Love me, love my man.

3. How much I weigh: I haven't weighed in single figures since I was 13. In fact the number 13 is probably about what I weigh now, give or take a few pounds either way. Some people call this fat and do the horrified face. Whatever.

4. Exercising: I will never be a gym person. Or really any kind of exercise person. I dabble in and out occasionally and I do enjoy a good stretchy exercise like yoga or throwing some hand-weights around every once in a while, but mainly I am content to be. I do two dog walks a day, work in an active job, and go build stuff at a theatre twice a week - I'm not just sat eating cake and pastry, well not all the time...

5. Size 16: that's my clothes size. I have a big arse. The labels only exist in people's heads. How I present myself and my confidence in my clothes makes me feel good. I would always buy the bigger size than try to squeeze myself into smaller clothes as that just looks bad and feels hugely uncomfortable.

6. Going to the theatre: I hate it. I know, I know, I'm in a theatre group, what's that all about? I love going there - we build stuff, we paint stuff, we use power tools, and create beautiful things. But being cramped into those tiny seats with no leg room and watching the live stuff? Not my bag at all. I'd take the cinema any day - more leg room and better sweets.

7. Bob the Dog photos: there's loads. I know. I don't care. I love the big hairy mad dog/horse he's turned out to be. I've never had a dog before and had no idea you could ever feel like this about an animal. He makes me laugh every single day, even when he's nearly crushing us with all 34.95 kilos (and counting!) of him. The loyalty and the love is quite overwhelming and he's part of the family now. If you don't like the photos just unfollow me, I'll never know.

8. Getting married: Dave and I have been together for 8 years this year. A lot of people (mainly my sister) don't understand why we just don't get married. It's me. I have no interest in the marrying thing. I don't want to be a bride, I've never wanted to wear a giant dress that you can't have a wee in, I hate being the centre of attention, and most of all? There's absolutely no need. We're very happy as we are, thanks for asking.

9. Having kids: More than once, when I've admitted this, I've had judgement to deal with. I even found out once that a group of people had been talking about my not wanting kids at a night out, like it was their problem to solve (I mean, can you even?!) I don't judge you for having them, don't judge me back by being honest about not wanting them. My choice. Your choice. Each to their own.

10. How much screen time I enjoy: sometimes Dave and I just want to crash out on the sofa, be crushed by our giant dog, and chill with our iPads. Some of my favourite things to do are via the screen, catching up on blogs for one. I love it. Maybe it's not healthy but refer to point 4 about exercising and get over it.

And there you have it, my list of f**ks that I do not give. Do you identify with any of them? Will you own up to it...? It's a cracking read if you're feeling like you need to be pleasing yourself rather than others. Read it, don't read it, right there is a f**k not to be given.