Friday, 26 February 2016

In the wars

We used to have a saying when I was little, that if you'd had a bad week of lots of falls and scrapes and bruises that you were 'in the wars'. I'm bringing that phrase back as I have most definitely been fighting. Mainly with inanimate objects like doors and lampshades, and I have the bruises to show for it. 

It all started last Saturday. I woke up and couldn't move. My whole neck felt as if I was wearing some kind of upright brace and all across my shoulders, top of my back, and down to my shoulder blades was just one big massive ouch-y ache. I have no idea how I did this, could have been helping an old dear as she struggled to walk in a room, could have been from pushing a really heavy trolley at work, could have been from walking the horse dog who weighs quite a lot and likes to pull on his lead, or maybe I just slept funny - who knows? However it might have happened, can we just say ouch and have done with it. Cue many tablets and creams and hot baths and shoulder rubs to try to alleviate it. It still hurts now. Boo! 

The next thing I did was to trap my finger in a door. It started turning blue and I feared I had broken it, but I could move it okay and wasn't crying too much so I just soldiered on manfully. Said door was in a changing room to try on a couple of tops. In the process of trying the first top on I bashed the very same finger against the light fitting above my head. Owwwww, ouch, couple of sweary words, and a blooming heck for good measure. Oh, I bought the top by the way - finger nearly be broken be damned, there was some good vintage shopping to be done! The bruise is developing quite nicely and is now an attractive shade of brown/black/blue. I can still move it though so it can't be that serious...

I had high hopes that by the time I was 41 I would have grown out of my clumsy habit. As the above clearly demonstrates that is not the case. Clumsy Claire strikes again. And again. And again. And repeat until I am 92. Someone pass the smelly old lady cream, my back needs another rubbing...

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